Apart from missing heaven, the next bad thing that can happen to a Christian is to be in a bad marriage. Without a blink an eye, or a smidgen fear of contradiction whatsoever, I will confidently say, “besides companionship, marriage becomes irrelevant.”
Unfortunately, in this day and age, most marriages if not all are just but a competition in a dire need to outdo each other especially on financial matters and the pecking order of life.
In the very words of Idris Elba, “ask a lady to define a man and she will define you a slave,” to most young and nubile ladies in pursuit of marriage, these words are not far from the truth. Times without number i’ve asked numerous ladies on the qualities that a gentleman pursuing them for marriage must hold. To my greatest surprise, eight out of ten ends up using the very famous phrase among most bachelorettes: ‘A financially stable man.’
It’s extremely unfortunate that we have a generation of young ladies who have totally disregarded integrity and morality in place of money and material possessions. Although it’s a bitter pill to shallow, the truth of the matter is; any lady who believes that her success will become a reality out of marrying a rich gentleman is a lady who is unknowingly stuck in identity crisis and is far from finding her purpose in life.
In this day and age, most people fail to find their purpose in life simply because of the centuries old misconception that ties success to financial achievement.
Just like the old English adage, ‘fire is a good servant but a bad master,’ from the force of my conscious reason, I do believe that; money too is a good servant but a bad master. Please be advised that your chances of urging otherwise are extremely slim due to the dire consequences that comes as a result of dissenting with the word of God. In his first epistle to his mentee Timothy, apostle Paul inked these words; ‘For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. By craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.’ 1 Timothy 6:10
Kindly let me address nubile ladies who think that they’re ready for marriage. The sole reason to why these scriptures, (The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper.” Genesis 2:18) are recorded in the book of Genesis which literally means beginning is because, as a responsible lady, you are supposed to be a suitable helper to your husband right from the beginning. Becoming a suitable helper is the only way your husband can become what most present day ladies are looking for: ‘A financially stable man.’
Marriage is neither a business enterprise nor an investment. If you’re an intrigant wife who is in a marriage to carry out surreptitious monetary achievements, you are not better than a fraudster.
In inarguably true that, any person who is money hungry is also a selfish person. In other words, a lover of money or material possessions is also a narcissist. This is the spouse who will never ever care about you as long as he or she is okay.
For a great marriage to happen, both the husband and the wife must be okay not one of them and no argument about that whatsoever. Having understood that truth, my school of conscious thought compels me into saying: “If your spouse’s problem is not your problem, your marriage is a problem.” Although it’s very ironical to be okay while your spouse is not, to a self-centric person, this isn’t much of a bother. As long as he or she is okay, nothing else matters.
On the other hand, it’s extremely imperative for every gentleman to always keep this in mind that: ‘Any lady who is not a suitable helper can never ever make a great wife.’
Apart from being selfish, a lover of money and material possessions is a proud and a conceited individual who holds an insatiable sense of entitlement. When the bible says that the love of money is the source of all evil, the fundamental of all these evils is pride, conceit, selfishness, self-importance, greed, jealousy, pathological lying and an insatiable sense of entitlement.
Narcissist are the people who operate under the entitlement mindset namely: Me, Myself and I. As long as he or she is okay, nothing else matters. And if you have any good thing, to a narcissist, it’s never good enough unless it belongs to him or and her not to mention that, to a narcissist too much is never enough. No amount of love, money or possessions can satisfy a self-centric person. In other words, selfish people are unlovable not only because they can’t love back but also because you can’t love them good enough.
The fact that a lover of money and material possessions is also an intrigant means that; if you’re married by such a person, developing yourselves in life as a couple will be totally impossible. From opening and operating secret bank accounts to making secret investments, an intrigant spouse does it all. A self-centric wife hold an extremely biased mentality that; her money belongs to her alone but her husband’s money is their money.
A marriage is not about what you can get, it’s about what you can give. That’s why I can confidently say: “When everyone meets to give, everyone receives.”
Since selfishness and conceit is a vice whose formation goes back to the formative and developmental years of a person, it’s almost impossible for a selfish person to change. If you are already married to a selfish conceited spouse, my recommendation is a spiritual deliverance.
Noting that selfishness and conceit doesn’t start when you get married, if you’re dating a selfish person, kindly don’t ignore that red flag lest you spend the rest of your life in total regret. I rest my case.